


We All Have Our Stories

by Samunderthelights



Series: Wolfstar Bingo 2020 [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Don't copy to another site, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, References to Depression, Scars, Tattoo Artist Sirius Black, Tattoos, Wolfstar Bingo 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28190385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: Remus thinks it's time to get a tattoo to cover up his scars, and the tattoo artist he has chosen, just so happens to be a very handsome dark-haired young man, who knows exactly how to calm his nerves.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Bingo 2020 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1981862
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112
Collections: Wolfstar Bingo 2020





	We All Have Our Stories

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> This is my final story for Wolfstar Bingo 2020, and for this one I used the prompt 'Modern Setting AU'.  
> Make sure to check the tags before reading!!  
> Enjoy!  
> Xx

Remus is shaking like a leaf as he knocks on the door of the tattoo shop. The only time he had been in one, was when his girlfriend had had her nose pierced, but that was years ago. Even then he had felt out of place, like somehow he was too plain, too boring to be allowed to enter such a place.

Now that he’s by himself, he feels more than just a little overwhelmed, and he almost considers turning around and leaving. But the man he had been e-mailing back and forth with for weeks, he had been nice enough, and he knows it’d be rude to not show up to his appointment after all the time the artist had put into this already.

So he takes a deep breath, trying his best to get his heartbeat to slow down at least a little. But when a dark-haired, dark-eyed man with a friendly smile on his face opens the door, his heart starts beating faster again.

“You must be Remus.”

Remus nods, unable to say a word.

“Come on in. I’m Sirius.” The man smiles, Remus only now noticing the little rhinestone shimmering on his nose. “Are you nervous? It’s your first time, isn’t it?”

“Mhm,” Remus mumbles, as he follows him to the back of the shop. “I’m not really a… tattoo kind of person.”

“And what is a tattoo kind of person, exactly?” Sirius chuckles. “You know… just yesterday I gave a lovely eighty-year old lady her first tattoo. So…”

“Sorry,” Remus quickly says, wishing he would have just kept quiet. Or better yet, not shown up for this at all. But when he sees the grin on Sirius’ face, he realises that he’s only teasing him.

“Relax. I’ll be gentle.” Sirius grins. “Seeing as it’s your first time and all…”

“Right.” Remus chuckles, feeling a blush creep up on him.

Sirius seems to notice, because his smile grows mischievous, before he turns around and he steps into the backroom.

“Can I get you a coffee, tea… I have pink lemonade…”

“I’ll take the lemonade,” Remus says, as he hesitantly sits down at the table. He looks around the room, the walls covered in sketches, paintings, most of them of animals and faces. They are dark, and they feel haunting, even the rough sketches. Yet there is something about them that makes Remus keep staring at them, and he almost jumps up when Sirius sets down the lemonade in front of them, because he hadn’t even noticed him coming back into the room.

“Did you make all these?”

“I did.” Sirius nods. “You like them?”

“Yes!” Remus quickly says, realising it came out a little too fast, making it seem like he’s lying. “Sorry, I’m really nervous.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell!”

The blush on Remus’ face grows darker, as Sirius slaps him on the shoulder, before going over to his station to set everything up.

Remus feels like he should say something, but he doesn’t want to interrupt the tattoo-artist while he’s busy, so he quietly drinks his lemonade as he checks out more of the drawings on the wall.

“Are you ready?” Sirius asks. “For the pain and horror?” he teases, as Remus makes his way over to him.

“Is it really that bad?”

“It depends per person. So tell me if the pain gets too bad, okay? We’ll take a break, or we’ll stop and continue another time. I’ll have to get the outline done today, but…” Sirius shrugs. “The rest can be done another time. So just tell me if you need to stop.”

“And if I have to stop before the outline is done?”

“Then you’ll be walking around for the next couple of weeks, looking like an idiot,” Sirius laughs. “But like I said, I’ll go easy on you.”

Remus nods, still not convinced that he is cut out for this. And when Sirius hands him the sketch he has made, he can feel his throat closing up.

“What do you think?” Sirius asks, as he looks over his shoulder. “This is just a rough sketch. I’ll actually be drawing it on your arm, but…”

“It’s beautiful,” Remus interrupts him, his voice breaking. “Thank you. Seriously, this is…”

“These are your ideas,” Sirius whispers, as he gently presses a hand against his back. “But if there’s anything you’d like for me to change, just tell me. Now’s the time to do it. Once it’s on your arm, it’s too late.”

Remus shakes his head, trying hard to blink his tears away, as he hands him back the sketch.

“We’re doing this, then?” Sirius asks, a caring, knowing smile on his face. “You’re a hundred percent sure?”

“Yes.” Remus nods, before taking a deep breath, his heart still racing.

“You better take your shirt off, then.” Sirius smiles, before sitting down on his stool and tying back his hair.

Remus nervously unbuttons his shirt, before laying it down on the table, and going back to Sirius, who very gently grabs his arms and studies it.

Remus closes his eyes, too embarrassed to face the situation, and it isn’t until he feels Sirius’ warm hand on his waist, that he looks down at him through his tears.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asks. “Do you need a moment?”

“It’s fine,” Remus mumbles. “I’m just not used to…” He sighs, having explained this in his emails already. But then he had been hidden away behind a screen. He didn’t actually have to face the man in front of him. “I usually keep my scars hidden.”

“I’m only looking to see where I’m going to draw,” Sirius explains, a reassuring smile on his face. “I don’t want to get the placement wrong and have you walk around with a tattoo that doesn’t make sense. That’s all.”

“I know.” Remus nods, quickly looking away again. Wishing he wouldn’t care so much. But he does care, and the thought of someone looking at his scars, especially like that, it makes him feel sick to his stomach.

* * *

“How’s it going?” Sirius asks, after he has been tattooing Remus for just a minute or two. “It’s not too bad, is it?”

“Not yet.”

Sirius chuckles, making Remus open his eyes and look at him.

“That’s the positivity we’re looking for,” the tattoo-artist laughs. “So… do you mind if I ask?”

“Depends on what you’re going to ask,” Remus says, but he already knows what’s coming, and he feels another wave of nausea washing over him.

“What happened?”

“I hurt myself, that’s what happened,” Remus says, but when he sees the corner of Sirius’ mouth curl up into a knowing smile, he sighs. “I have some problems with my health, and I couldn’t accept that,” he tries to explain. “I got angry, and I decided to take it out on myself. On the body that betrayed me, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not,” Sirius says, his eyes focussed on Remus’ arm. “You think you’re the only one who comes in here with scars like these?”

“That doesn’t make it any less embarrassing,” Remus admits, his cheeks burning. “I’m not used to this… to someone looking at them.”

“You think I care?” Sirius sighs, as he looks up at him.

“I know what people think.”

“Do you?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow. “Please enlighten me.”

“I must have done it for attention. I was weak… I felt sorry for myself…”

“I guess I’m not ‘people’, then.” Sirius shrugs. “I’m not thinking any of that, Remus. I only wondered what had happened to you. What your story is.”

Remus feels his whole body growing hot, embarrassed that he thought he was being judged, when in fact, he had been judging Sirius.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, but Sirius just shakes his head, smiling to himself, before he continues tattooing him.

“I have scars like these, you know?” Sirius admits after an uncomfortable silence. He lifts up his hand, and only now does Remus notice the thick lines on the inside of his wrist, going right through the middle of one of his tattoos. “We all have our stories.”

* * *

“Why did you become an artist?” Remus asks, when Sirius is cleaning up his arm.

At first there had been more uncomfortable silence, but once Remus had started asking more questions about the work, the conversation had slowly but surely begun to flow.

“I decided to put my energy into something more useful than… well, let’s say I didn’t always do the right thing,” Sirius admits. “But then I discovered art, and I met a guy who was willing to give me a job in his shop, so…”

“A guy?” Remus asks, feeling much more at ease by now, and when he wiggles his eyebrows, Sirius laughs, shaking his head.

“Not that kind of guy. My buddy, James. This used to be his shop, until he and his wife had a little boy,” Sirius explains. “He decided to step down, so I took over from him.”

Sirius wipes down Remus’ arm a final time, before stepping back, a proud smile on his face.

“It’s not done yet, but go take a look.”

Remus goes over to the mirror, getting nervous again as he checks out his arm. Because what if he sees himself, and he hates the way he looks with a tattoo? Sure, he hated the way he looked with scars, but what if this is even worse?

But when he sees the outline of the tattoo, he feels the tears welling up in his eyes. Already he can tell what it’s going to look like, and how much of a difference it will make, every single time he sees himself.

“What do you think?” Sirius asks, as he steps up behind him. He very gently puts his hands on Remus’ hips, and turns him so he can see the tattoo better.

“This is so much more beautiful than anything I could have hoped for,” Remus says, his eyes still focused on his arm. But when he catches a glimpse of Sirius’ face in the mirror, when he sees the proud and caring smile on his face, he quickly looks away.

“Just wait until it’s finished.” Sirius smiles, as he takes a step back. “I’m happy you like it.”

“Like it?” Remus scoffs. “It’s… I don’t even know what to say.”

He turns around, and he almost goes in for a hug. But then he remembers that they are not friends. This is a stranger. After his next appointment, he will never see this man again. Do not make this awkward.

“So ehm…,” he quickly says, hoping the tattoo-artist won’t notice him blushing again. “How much do I owe you?”

“It’s alright.” Sirius shrugs. “I’m not charging anything for this one.”

“What? Why not?”

“It wouldn’t be right,” Sirius says. “Just promise me you’ll come back.”

“Of course! But I want to pay, I… I have to… it’s…” Remus stammers, “How can I thank you?”

“Buy me a drink?” Sirius suggests, and for a moment Remus thinks he has misheard. But when he sees the uncomfortable look on the man’s face, he realises he actually just said that. “Shit, I didn’t mean to make this awkward. I just thought… sorry.”

“No!” Remus quickly says, flashing a nervous smile. “I can do that. Buy you a drink, I mean.”

* * *

Remus had almost sent Sirius a text, telling him that he couldn’t make it to their… whatever you want to call it. But after he had typed out a long message, full of excuses, he had quickly deleted it. Because every morning he had seen the tattoo on his arm, and he had remembered the man’s soft touch on his skin, his warm, caring smiles. The fact that he hadn’t judged him, that he had even seemed to understand. And nervous as he is, he does want to get to know him better.

So he had come to the bar early, and he had ordered them both a drink, hoping it wouldn’t be too forward to do so. But when his phone starts buzzing in his pocket, and he takes it out and sees Sirius’ name, his heart jumps. Is Sirius now cancelling on him?

“Remus?”

“Yes?”

“I’m so sorry. My last appointment took much longer than planned, and they only just left. I still have to clean up the place, then lock up…”

“It’s fine,” Remus says, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. “We’ll do it another time.”

“No, we won’t! I’ll be there in… give me half an hour. Or if you like, you can come over here. I’m sure I still have a bottle or two of… god knows what,” Sirius laughs. “I’m really sorry about this.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather do this another time? I honestly don’t mind.”

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week,” Sirius says, and Remus can feel his cheeks burning. And even though Sirius can’t see him, he bites his lip to hide the smile that’s about to burst out of him. “So?”

“I’ll be there.”

* * *

When Remus arrives at the tattoo shop, the lights are off, and for a moment he thinks he must have misunderstood. But he knocks on the door, and just a few seconds later, Sirius opens the door, his face flushed.

“Sorry about this!”

“Don’t worry…,” Remus begins, but before he can even finish what he was going to say, Sirius has pulled him into a tight hug.

“You smell nice,” Sirius mumbles into his neck, and just feeling how close he is, the heat radiating from his body, his warm breath on his neck, it makes Remus weak at the knees.

“I ehm…”

“How’s the tattoo healing?” Sirius asks, ignoring Remus’ awkward blushing, as he leads him to the back of the shop, where the bottle of wine and glasses are already set out on the table.

“It’s itchy, but I think it’s normal?” Remus chuckles. “It looks a bit…”

“Shit?” Sirius laughs. “Can I see?”

Remus unbuttons his shirt, feeling a lot less self-conscious than last time. But when Sirius gently grabs his arm, he gets chills all over, and he knows that Sirius has noticed, because the tattoo-artist gets a mischievous smile on his face, as he very gently lets his fingers slide over the inside of his arm.

“Looks perfect.” Sirius smiles, but there is something in the look on his face that makes Remus wonder whether he is still talking about the tattoo. “So… how about a glass of wine?”

* * *

Remus can’t deny that he had been a little worried as to whether they would have anything to talk about, seeing as they couldn’t be any more different. But they had told each other all about how they had grown up; in Sirius’ case in an abusive household that had made him look for refuge in all the wrong kinds of things, in Remus’ case in a loving household, but it had been his health that had almost driven him over to the edge on several occasions. When Remus had first seen Sirius, the handsome tattooed young man, he was convinced they would have nothing in common. But the more they talked, the more he realised they had gone through the same things, the same fight. They had had very different things to deal with, but it had resulted in the same pain, the same self-hatred that was still there, all these years later.

“How do you do it?” Remus asks, as he grabs Sirius’ arm. He very carefully brushes a finger over the scars on his wrist, a pained look on his face, before looking him in the eyes again. “How do you get up every day, and just…”

“Don’t give up?” Sirius suggests. “I did. Give up. A few years ago James found me in there,” he says, pointing at the backroom.

“I’m so sorry.”

“So am I,” Sirius admits, an embarrassed smile on his face as he looks down at his wrist, Remus still ever so gently holding it. “But when they had their little boy, and I first held him in my arms… he gave me hope again. He made me realise that all that shit that my family put me through…” He sighs, struggling to find the right words. “I mean, yes, it’s part of who I am, and I’ll always have to carry those memories with me. But I want to be here, and I want to watch that little boy grow up. I want to be Uncle Sirius,” he says, his cheeks flushing pink. “Maybe some day I’ll even be a dad, or… sorry, I’m rattling on.”

“What’s his name?”

“Harry. He’s the most precious thing,” Sirius says, a proud smile on his face. “He made me realise that there are still things I want to see, things I want to do. I want to fall in love, and live a… fuck it, I want a happily ever after, you know?” Sirius laughs. “My family fucked up so many years of my life, but I can still have that. I deserve to have that,” he adds, but then he leans his head back against the wall, and he chuckles, embarrassed. “I really shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine, huh?”

“I want to believe I can have those things too,” Remus admits, making Sirius look up at him. “I doubt it though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at me,” Remus chuckles uncomfortably. “People like me do not get… happily ever afters. We get a month, maybe half a year of something that resembles normalcy, and then…” He shrugs.

“What was his name? The guy who made you so bitter?”

“Her name was Tonks. Nymphadora.”

“A woman?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow in mock-surprise. “Oh, wow.”

“I’m not bitter. Just… realistic.”

“So if I were to kiss you right now…?” Sirius asks, a daring grin on his face. “The best you could offer me is a month of some boring… white-picket-fence kind of life, before you get rid of me?”

“Well, if you’re looking for a happily ever after, you’re not going to find it here,” Remus laughs, but when Sirius’ look turns serious, he quickly stops laughing.

“I really want to kiss you, Remus,” Sirius whispers, “But I won’t, not if you don’t want me to.”

“I have nothing to offer, I’m just…”

“You are Remus Lupin,” Sirius whispers, as he brings his hands up to the sides of his neck. “ _This_ is what you have to offer, okay? You. That is enough. That is more than enough. That is…,” he laughs nervously, before pressing his lips against Remus’.

“Oh, wow,” Remus laughs, a little out of breath. “I almost wish I had decided to get a tattoo sooner…”

“Almost?” Sirius laughs, as he gently caresses his neck. “There is something I should tell you though.”

Remus looks up at him, his heart starting to beat faster, nervous to find out that Sirius isn’t interested. That he’s married. That he’s about to move to the other side of the world in just two days.

“What is it?” he asks, and when Sirius brings their heads together, a feeling of dread washes over him.

“You should know that ehm…”

“Tell me!”

“I don’t do this with all my clients,” Sirius whispers, but it takes a moment for Remus to realise what he has said. That he was only teasing him. And when it hits him, he can’t help but laugh, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Good to know.”

**Author's Note:**

> https://samunderthelights.tumblr.com/


End file.
